As I wrote my About page for this website, a piece of writing from last year came to mind. At the time I shared it with my writing group, I hoped it would inspire me to start a blog as one way to unbridle the desire to write – a calling from my soul. I started to see patterns guiding me to unleash my passion for writing going all the way back to childhood. They were beginning to form a picture. Did I listen to those urges then? Will I listen now? Will I allow myself the gift of slipping into the flow? Someone or something is insisting…
Creative Expression
Feeling lost in a state of too many “To do’s,” I relax into a comfy armchair in my living room, gazing out the window without seeing what is there. I let the chair wrap itself around my body as I bask in this rare opportunity to be still. Almost dozing, I become aware of an image materializing in my mind. I’m not sure if the child in the image is my inner child or myself as a little girl. Are they one and the same, I wonder?
She stamps her foot and yells, “STOP! It’s MY turn! Give ME some time to play, to create, to write! ALL we do here is work, work, work – clean, move, organize, pay bills, compute!” She begins to cry, “There are things I want to do, and YOU don’t let me.” She glares at me from normally pale blue eyes, now dark, blazing like fire!
overwhelming desire to sit down at the computer and let my heart flow out
Shocked at the image, I remain speechless for a few minutes, an overwhelming desire to sit down at the computer and let my heart flow out of my hands into the keyboard . . . to figure out where I put my colored pencil collections and drawing pads after I moved two months ago . . . to immerse myself in the words of the top book in my many stacks of reading material. . . to create the vision board I’d promised myself I’d make since last summer . . . to leisurely pour over Yoga Journals, The Sun, and Poets and Writers magazines that have accumulated unopened in drawers.
Tap, tap, tap. My reverie once again is interrupted by the agitation of the child’s impatient foot. Now her eyes stare at the ground, pouty mouth, arms crossed, body clutched as tight as a clam, emanating fury.
Your creativity is all bottled up ready to explode!
I know; I get it, Sweetie! I feel your frustration. Your creativity is all bottled up ready to explode! I hear. I see your anger. I honor your need for creative expression.
She tilts her head up and seeks my eyes, a glint of hope, before casting them back down to the floor.
I sense the unspoken question. How will I honor those words? How much commitment stands behind my compassion?
I don’t have an answer. I wonder where I can make a hole in the busyness of the day devoted to trying to do more than is humanly possible, sometimes merely engaged in tiring tasks.
I see those pleading eyes, and for the sake of both of us, know that it’s imperative for my health and well-being to listen to her.
What about passions lying dormant in you that are ready to awaken?
Are you listening to the nudges?
Are you honoring them?
It IS imperative for your health …. Your well-being, too!